Scarecrow: The Adventures of Shane and Aloysius
by IBegToDreamAndDiffer
Summary: A story about the trials and joys Shane Schofield and Aloysius Knight face during their relationship. It includes police officers, heartbroken microwaves, blackmail, Shane being generally exasperated, and Aloysius being a giant man-child. Oh, and the other marines plus Rufus make appearances. See warnings inside.
1. Chapter One

**SCARECROW**

**THE ADVENTURES OF SHANE AND ALOYSIUS**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Main Pairing: **Shane Schofield/Aloysius Knight

**About:** **Bastetian**,** Black666Hunter** and I were on Facebook, just generally chatting, and my muse went a bit haywire and made me write lots and lots of drabbles. A lot of them were in the same 'verse, so I decided to gather them together and write them properly (they were originally dialogue-only).

**Warnings: **Graphic m/m sex, explicit language, mild violence, a bit of OOCness, and general weirdness

**Disclaimer: **The characters and world of Scarecrow belong to Matthew Reilly. I own nothing but the plots and make no money from these stories.

* * *

**Chapter One**

Aloysius Knight didn't seem to be fully grasping the situation. He and Shane were currently sitting in the back of a police car... handcuffed... and half-naked.

'Well,' Aloysius suddenly hummed. He'd been staring out the window for a good few minutes. Apparently the cops were arguing amongst themselves over Knight's record; when "Top Security Clearance Required" flashed beneath someone's name, the cops apparently didn't know what to do. 'This is bad,' Aloysius finally finished.

Shane remained silent.

'I mean, I'm not wanted here any more, but still...' Aloysius continued as though Shane had made some type of noise.

Still, Shane remained silent.

'Think Mother will bail us out?' Aloysius asked.

Shane was a statue, damn it, a statue!

Aloysius finally seemed to comprehend that Shane hadn't said a word and turned to look at him. 'Shane?' he questioned, quickly followed by a, '_Helllooo_?'

'Don't even talk to me,' Shane finally snapped.

Aloysius blinked rapidly from behind his amber-tinted sunglasses. 'What's wrong with you?'

'I'm sitting in the back of a police car,' Shane practically spat, still not looking at his boyfriend, 'because I got _arrested _for indecent _exposure _because _you _wanted to have _sex _against a _tree_!'

Shane really hadn't wanted to. But when Aloysius drove them both down a seemingly disused dirt road, presented a picnic, and then kept touching Shane... the Scarecrow was only human, damn it.

The worst part was Shane had been completely naked when the police arrived. Aloysius hadn't had to remove any item of clothing to fuck Shane against the tree- and ouch, splinters were a bitch. Shane, on the other hand, had been stripped down to his socks.

At least the police had let him put his jeans back on before cuffing him.

'So...' Aloysius hummed, 'this is my fault?'

'Yes!' Shane shouted, finally turning to glare at the bounty hunter. 'Yes, this is your fucking fault! I'm a fucking marine, I'm not supposed to do shit like this!'

'Calm down,' Aloysius drawled and turned back to stare through the window. The cops were still milling about, apparently in no hurry to go anywhere. 'It's not like they're going to dishonourably discharge you for fucking in public. Besides, the President loves you.'

'Shut up,' Shane muttered and slouched in his seat.

'In my defence, you were begging towards the end.'

'_SHUT UP_!' Shane shouted.

Apparently Aloysius had selective hearing, because he spoke anyway; 'Hey, if you _do_ get dishonourably discharged for this, you can become a bounty hunter with me. Rufus'll love it.'

Shane only had one response for that; 'If my hands weren't cuffed I'd strangle you.'

And, of course, Aloysius just offered him a crooked smile. 'Kinky.'

{oOo}

_One phone call_. Knight hadn't used his to call Rufus, because the pilot was "indisposed on a highly dangerous, top secret mission". Shane took that to mean Rufus was in some posh hotel somewhere ignoring Knight's calls unless they were emergencies. Because in his downtime between jobs, Rufus liked a little luxury. Shane thought he deserved it just putting up with Knight regularly.

Shane didn't have anyone to call... well, no one he _wanted _to call. His unit was completely out of the question- imagine their faces when he told them he was in a holding cell?- and his grandparents- _so _not telling them either!- lived in another state.

Sighing, and finally admitting defeat, Shane dialled Mother. It rang a few times before there was a click and, '_'Lo?_'

'Hey, Mother,' Shane said and leaned against the cold brick wall beside the pay phone.

'_Well hey there, handsome_,' Mother said and Shane could practically hear her smiling through the phone. '_What's up?_'

Shane cleared his throat and shifted about nervously. He was standing just in front of the holding cell- Knight was sprawled across the floor, while the only other guy locked up was staring at him in confusion- and kept his back to it as he said, 'Um... so... here's the thing...'

'_What's wrong?_' Mother asked immediately.

Of course her mind immediately started shouting _danger, danger_! This was the Scarecrow she was talking to; danger followed him around like an over-excited goddamn puppy.

'I... uh...' Fuck, how do you explain this situation to someone?

Suddenly Knight shouted- much to the cops' and their cell-mate's annoyance, 'Just tell her the truth!'

Mother apparently heard him over the phone, because she asked, '_Who's that? Where are you?_'

'Knight,' Shane answered the first question.

There was a pause before, '_Aloysius Knight? As in the Black Knight?_'

'Yeah, that's the one.' Shane rubbed his eyes, feeling a migraine beginning to build. Honestly, he didn't know why he was with Knight... oh yeah, the whole "being in love with the stupid bastard" thing. And really, most days Knight was a pleasure to be around- and not just in the bedroom. But today... no, today was a bad day, a day where Knight's more excitable side made an appearance. It was like he had split personalities; loving boyfriend, killer bounty hunter, and overgrown man-child.

'_What are you doing with him?_' Mother asked, breaking Shane from his thoughts.

'Ah...' Shane had to clear his throat again and wished there was somewhere he could get a cup of water... or a bottle of scotch. 'Well, you know how you wanted to know who I was dating?' he asked.

She, and the entire unit, had been wondering about it for months. He and Aloysius had been dating about five months, spending time together for about seven months, and the unit had noticed something was up about three months ago.

Since Shane had let slip that he was dating someone- a male someone- the entire unit had been trying to pry a name out of him. But Shane liked his privacy, and he didn't need Mother turning up to a) warn Knight not to break Shane's heart, b) break Knight before he could, or c) conspire with Knight against Shane.

So, yeah, he'd kept it a secret... until now.

It didn't take Mother long to piece together Shane's rather vague words. '_Well fuck me sideways_,' she breathed.

'Mother-' Shane tried to move on, only for the woman to interrupt.

'_The Black _Knight_?_' she snapped, sounding incredulous.

'Mother, I-'

'_Since when?_' Mother demanded and Shane scowled at the wall.

'If you'd listen-'

'_How long?_' Mother asked, talking over him again and firing questions into the phone. '_Who made the first move? Was it you? Did you kiss him? Did he kiss you? Are you fucking? Does he break in, I bet he breaks in! Are you living together? Do you-_'

Suddenly someone was taking the phone from him, and Shane gaped when he turned to see Knight leaning casually against the brick wall.

'Shane and I were arrested for having sex on a dirty road around the corner from a high school and we need you to bail us out,' Aloysius said simply, examining his nails for dirt, one leg crossed casually before the other.

Shane snapped out of his shock long enough to shout, 'KNIGHT!'

'You were taking too long,' Aloysius whined.

Shane looked over the taller man's shoulder to see three cops making their way over, hands going to their guns. 'Shit,' he cursed and grabbed the phone, ignoring Aloysius' second whine. 'Mother, can you bail us out?'

'_Sure, just give me the details, handsome. And I want a fucking explanation. No more of this hiding bullshit._'

Shane quickly agreed, told her what police station they were being held at, and put his hands up when the cops reached them. 'I didn't do anything.'

'Oh yeah, sell me out!' Knight huffed.

'Well you shouldn't break out of prison.'

'It's temporary prison!' Aloysius argued.

'Same thing!' Shane scowled as he and his boyfriend were manhandled back into the cell. This time two cops stood outside, watching, just waiting for them to screw up. Shane went to sit in the corner, and unfortunately Aloysius followed him. 'Mother's coming,' he muttered.

'Of course she is,' Aloysius smiled and sat on the floor beside him. 'She wants the story, right? Would you describe the noise you make as you come a groan or a whine?'

Shane closed his eyes and thumped his head against the wall. _Hard_.

{oOo}

'You're not giving her details!' Shane shouted for what felt like the fiftieth time in ten minutes. Aloysius pouted, of course. Oh, sure, most of the time he was a big bad bounty hunter, but with Shane he was an overgrown man-child. Honestly, Shane had met five-year-olds more mature than Aloysius Knight.

Their cell-mate had been released a few minutes earlier- much to the young man's relief- but they were still being watched by two cops. Two cops who seemed to find their argument highly amusing.

'Why not?' Aloysius whined.

'Because my sex life is private,' Shane told him. Because, _seriously_! The last thing Shane wanted was Mother knowing details about his performance in the bedroom... or Aloysius' for that matter.

'We were doing it in public, that's not very private,' Aloysius pointed out.

Groaning, Shane thumped his head against the brick wall again. He was going to have a migraine by the time he left, probably bruises, and definitely less brain cells than he'd had upon entry. 'Why am I even with you?' he muttered to himself.

Of course Aloysius heard him. ''Cause I'm big,' he stated smugly.

Shane rolled his eyes.

'And Mother will want to know that,' the other man added.

'I. Hate. You,' Shane stated and shifted away from him.

'Do not,' Aloysius replied.

'No, I _really _do,' the marine promised. 'I absolutely, one-hundred percent, _loathe _you.'

'Nah-ah.'

'Yes, I do.'

'Nope.'

'Knight-'

'You really don't, Shane.'

'Oh God, can someone put me in another cell?'

Silence met Shane's words, and the marine was beginning to think Aloysius had finally talked himself out when-

'Hey, did you record over that sex tape we made?'

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yeah... I'm not on drugs, I swear. Just lack of sleep and too many cigarettes. That and I blame the other two for prompting me!

Anywho, hopefully I get the others written up soon :]

Cheers,

{Dreamer}


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait, and the short chapter, but I'm swamped with other stories. Plus, the drabbles I wrote are, like, four lines long, so I'm fitting three or four together to make one chapter. Hopefully I can come up with some longer ones.

Enjoy,

{Dreamer}

* * *

Shane felt his heart skip a beat and his eyes snapped to Knight. 'WHAT VIDEO?!' he practically shrieked.

Knight paused, head tilted, and hummed thoughtfully. Shane reached out to hit him, but the bounty hunter darted to the side. 'No, sorry,' Knight grinned, 'I made the video with my secret boyfriend... Todd.'

Shane groaned and rubbed his eyes. 'That isn't funny in the slightest.'

'Little bit funny,' Aloysius said and held his thumb and index an inch apart.

Shane just sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes again. He now had a headache, with a migraine well on the way. The cell was silent for a few minutes, though Knight continued to shift and fidget beside the marine.

'Mother will want to know,' Knight eventually said, 'and you _know _what she's like.'

'Fine,' Shane muttered, too tired to fight anymore. 'Tell Mother, see if I care. And see if you ever get laid again.'

'Hey, don't be like that!' Knight whined, and Shane was sure he was pouting, too. 'I'll take you to a nice park with a nice tree and-'

'No more parks!' Shane hissed.

'You were singing a different tune two hours ago,' Knight hummed.

'Oh God,' Shane groaned and thumped his head against the brick wall.

'You two make a lovely couple,' one of the police officers keeping an eye on them commented.

Shane glared at the man, while Knight said a gushing, 'Thank you!'

{oOo}

'We're free!' Knight shouted as soon as Mother paid their bail. The woman smirked at him, while Shane scowled and stomped outside.

Mother's truck was sitting in the parking lot and Shane sighed. Great, it was a two-door, meaning he'd be trapped between Mother and Knight with no way of escape. Maybe Mother would let him sit in the back...

'Get in the truck, handsome,' Mother said when she and Knight appeared.

_So much for riding in back_, Shane thought and dutifully climbed into the truck when Mother unlocked the passenger door. Aloysius jumped in beside him, practically vibrating with energy, and Shane wondered if the taller man had somehow managed to smuggle candy into the cell, because he was acting like a kid on a sugar-rush.

Then again, he often acted like that.

'Thanks, Mother,' Knight said as he did up his belt.

'No worries,' Mother answered. She said no more, for which Shane was thankful. He doubted it would last, though.

Mother started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot, turning onto the road and heading in the direction of Shane's apartment. Knight was the one who broke the silence.

'They said we can pick up your car in two days after we've paid our fine.'

'Mm,' Shane hummed. He shifted in his seat, feeling squished between Mother and Knight, neither of which were really short. Shane wasn't either, in all honesty. He was of average height for an American man, but rather short for a Marine. Something all soldiers liked to remind him of.

'What's your problem?' Knight asked, glancing at Shane.

'Nothing,' Shane muttered, moving again. His back and ass were stinging from being pressed against the tree, and he was sure he had splinters as well as cuts and bruises. He was _never _having sex against a tree again. It was mortifying and painful.

Knight continued to look at him, before a sly grin spread across his face. He adjusted his yellow-lensed glasses and said, 'Ya know, we have some ointment at home that-'

'Shut up!' Shane hissed.

'Why do you need ointment?' Mother asked.

'Nothing, no reason!' Shane snapped. 'Just keep driving.'

'I _am _driving,' Mother drawled.

'Well... eyes on the road!' Shane muttered.

Mother snorted. 'You ain't getting away with it that easy, Scarecrow. I wanna know what happened- no, I _demand _to know what happened. And you either tell me, or I tell the unit that you're fucking the Black Knight.'

'I hate you,' Shane groaned, tipping his head back. 'Why are you being so mean to me?'

'Don't take it personally, Mother,' Knight piped in. 'He hates everyone at the moment.'

'No, just you two,' Shane said.

'Aww, don't lie,' Knight said, 'you know you love me.'

'That's it,' Shane threw his hands up, almost hitting Mother and Knight in the head. 'You're sleeping on the couch for two weeks.'

'What?' Knight spluttered. 'But... but Shane!'

'Nope, two weeks,' Shane shook his head.

'Your couch is awful!' Knight complained.

'Wanna make it three weeks?'

'Come on, love-'

'Fine, three weeks.'

'Shane, come on, that's not fair!'

'It'll be four if you don't shut it.'

Knight pouted and crossed his arms. '_Fine_,' he huffed.

Mother snorted in amusement. 'The Scarecrow's sure got you trained well,' she commented.

Smirking, Knight shrugged one shoulder and said, 'What can I say? I love a man in uniform.'

Mother laughed, and Shane glared at his partner from behind his oakleys. 'Four weeks.'

'Son of a bitch!' Knight groaned.


End file.
